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Claire Coley's avatar

There are so many things I love about this essay.

Bits that I can call out in isolation like this: "For her, keeping up appearances is social glue, not deceit. Layer by layer, she collects the silt of status, securing her shoreline. I drift beside her, half-drowned"

...and this: "“What a shame that she looks like a boy,” my mom said when we returned home.

Well, isn’t everything a fucking shame?"

But most of all, I love the way it comes together with a message of identity across culture, sexuality, space and all the things in between. As someone with a poor reputation for writing anything of length, this inspired me to try harder to stick with something long enough to whittle it into shape. You can tell the time, effort and layers that went into this. And damn, it's so good.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Beautiful, Lily! I so admire the courage and honesty with which you write. Something I aspire to ◡̈

Your takeaway about eroticism and wanting reminds me of how Ester Perel describes the erotic—in a broader sense like play, vitality and adventure. Kudos on a great essay!

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