Lily, this essay felt like watching a house burn while you walk through it, narrating each flicker of flame with unflinching clarity.
The way you weave the scars of childhood, the allure of hope, and the crushing weight of responsibility into a single thread is haunting.
It's like trying to outrun a shadow that was never yours to carry...
Someone close to me once fell for a too good to be true investment, and while the numbers were smaller, the aftermath still felt like cleaning ash off every surface of our lives. So apt.
ALSO, Ron deserves his own circle of hell, preferably one where his LinkedIn is forever just one connection short of credibility.
KZ thanks as always for your detailed feedback - I quite enjoy reading your comments because you always adapt them into the metaphors used by the original writer, you've got style :D
Ahh sorry to your friend/fist bump to your friend LOL. Mutual ash sweeping coming up.
Re: Ron - maybe it is totally cope, but I think of him as a victim too. Most scammers are victims of human trafficking, they're forced at gunpoint or worse to scam.
Thank you for the kind words Lily. your comment makes giving feedback such a rewarding part of the process. As for Ron, it’s such a tangled web. Seeing him as a victim, even if it’s a form of cope, feels like a deeply human response.. I can see it as a refusal to let empathy be swept away entirely, even when the situation invites cynicism. It’s messy, but maybe that’s the point
This was breathtaking, Lily! I'm amazed at how raw and emotional it made me to read it, even though i've seen the story a few times already. You have done magic here!
Your edits were phenomenal, you really pushed this essay multiple versions! I get you though, I think the editing brain and the reading brain are two different people. I'm off to read your essay now too and I'm sure it'll hit me!
This knocked me sideways, Lily. Thank you for the strength to share what happened, and the greater strength of picking up from the ashes, you and your mom both
I hadn't read anything of yours since the last draft and...phew...was immediately swept away and couldn't stop reading this one. Really something how you weave a story that is raw, vulnerable and incredibly honest, but also leave space for my own projection — my own story with my mom kept popping up in different ways. Sometimes things have to fully break before they can begin to heal. Thank you so much for sharing this one.
Whew deep breaths! I'm both glad and sorry to hear you were able to see your own relationship w/your mom in this piece. Happy to have provided that mirror.
And perfect summary - gotta break the bone again to reset it right this time.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Agreed, a lifetime of learning. Wouldn't wish it on anyone else lol but I also wouldn't trade my experience away.
Lily, this was breathtaking, shocking, maddening. It’s exquisite - I feel the violent rawness of rage, the delicate tender love around family — it’s all so powerful and human. This reminds me of EJ Koh as you explore the anguish that comes with love.
John, thank you for reading and sharing your emotional reaction - quite visceral words you used. I appreciate the shoutout to an author I hadn't heard of before, noting her down now!
I am GRIMACING at the thought of going viral but if it happens, it happens. Your contrarian advice I took very very seriously, and though I kept the original narrative structure, the clarity of your linear feedback (YOU/YOUR MOM) building up like kindling was super helpful and really contextualized everyone else's feedback. I'd love to write a ringing endorsement of your feedback if you have a website or something where you sell your editing services!
Chris, thanks for being on this journey with me. You introduced a term to me, "debridement" - which I kept going back to as I was revising. That's the 1 word summary as far as I'm concerned!
Thank you Anna for reading! And for the quote. I cognitively agree with you. Emotionally it's much harder; I cut a lot of the Chinese-American components of this essay which would have explained the cultural filial piety background to why I feel responsible for her money.
> This essay had the most polarized feedback of the three I wrote in WOP. I tried to reconcile them with the narrative structure I felt was most true to me.
jumping in to +100 you gotta watch it....truly one of the coolest fresh and surprising frames on life I've ever encountered. In small and not so small ways, that lecture series has inspired everything I'm working on now.
yup. lots of good Vervaeke content since AFTMC, both his own work, dialogues w others, and interviews of him. this freshest one is likely to be good, given TB's style https://youtu.be/uXKihth7wo4?si=AaGJM-42ubgu5tSG
Wow Lily. So emotionally raw that I had to finish the essay to be able to take my next breath. As the children of divorced immigrant parents, many parts ring eerily similar.
Thank you Gordon! Yeah many parts will definitely resonate with East Asian immigrants especially...great to meet you post-WOP and I look forward to reading your writing. Glad that you have a Substack!
Thank you for reading it and entering my corner of the world for the short while! Really glad that I am still meeting more people in WOP after it has ended. :) Stay in touch!
Hey Lily, that's no way to talk about yourself! I get where you're coming from, I have felt similar feelings in the past, but these feelings don't reflect reality. Please try to welcome the compliments ❤️
On one hand I get where you are coming from (inner critic voice to be managed), on the other hand this is me expressing responsibility/culpability in a neutral way. I don't think it's bad to be a fucked up person, it's a pretty natural place to be given the circumstances. And I do accept the gold compliment! It's a very nice one. I do hope I get to write more from places that aren't so dark and sad.
Lily, this essay felt like watching a house burn while you walk through it, narrating each flicker of flame with unflinching clarity.
The way you weave the scars of childhood, the allure of hope, and the crushing weight of responsibility into a single thread is haunting.
It's like trying to outrun a shadow that was never yours to carry...
Someone close to me once fell for a too good to be true investment, and while the numbers were smaller, the aftermath still felt like cleaning ash off every surface of our lives. So apt.
ALSO, Ron deserves his own circle of hell, preferably one where his LinkedIn is forever just one connection short of credibility.
KZ thanks as always for your detailed feedback - I quite enjoy reading your comments because you always adapt them into the metaphors used by the original writer, you've got style :D
Ahh sorry to your friend/fist bump to your friend LOL. Mutual ash sweeping coming up.
Re: Ron - maybe it is totally cope, but I think of him as a victim too. Most scammers are victims of human trafficking, they're forced at gunpoint or worse to scam.
Thank you for the kind words Lily. your comment makes giving feedback such a rewarding part of the process. As for Ron, it’s such a tangled web. Seeing him as a victim, even if it’s a form of cope, feels like a deeply human response.. I can see it as a refusal to let empathy be swept away entirely, even when the situation invites cynicism. It’s messy, but maybe that’s the point
This was breathtaking, Lily! I'm amazed at how raw and emotional it made me to read it, even though i've seen the story a few times already. You have done magic here!
Your edits were phenomenal, you really pushed this essay multiple versions! I get you though, I think the editing brain and the reading brain are two different people. I'm off to read your essay now too and I'm sure it'll hit me!
This knocked me sideways, Lily. Thank you for the strength to share what happened, and the greater strength of picking up from the ashes, you and your mom both
Appreciate you reading this Dan, thanks for encouragement to be strong. :)
Let’s all agree Ron is the real villain here. Kudos for going there, Lily. Can’t wait to read what’s next
I wanna agree! At the same time I suspect he’s also a victim. Most scammers are human trafficking victims. :(
Thank you for reading and look forward to reading more of your work as well!
I hadn't read anything of yours since the last draft and...phew...was immediately swept away and couldn't stop reading this one. Really something how you weave a story that is raw, vulnerable and incredibly honest, but also leave space for my own projection — my own story with my mom kept popping up in different ways. Sometimes things have to fully break before they can begin to heal. Thank you so much for sharing this one.
Whew deep breaths! I'm both glad and sorry to hear you were able to see your own relationship w/your mom in this piece. Happy to have provided that mirror.
And perfect summary - gotta break the bone again to reset it right this time.
Wow. Stunning writing about a whole lifetime of learning.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Agreed, a lifetime of learning. Wouldn't wish it on anyone else lol but I also wouldn't trade my experience away.
Lily, this was breathtaking, shocking, maddening. It’s exquisite - I feel the violent rawness of rage, the delicate tender love around family — it’s all so powerful and human. This reminds me of EJ Koh as you explore the anguish that comes with love.
John, thank you for reading and sharing your emotional reaction - quite visceral words you used. I appreciate the shoutout to an author I hadn't heard of before, noting her down now!
This is so good — haunting and relatable and memoir-worthy. Great work, Lily.
…make this go viral already…the brutality of your voice is a spiked glove whipping my head a high five…bravo for the smoke and warmth…
I am GRIMACING at the thought of going viral but if it happens, it happens. Your contrarian advice I took very very seriously, and though I kept the original narrative structure, the clarity of your linear feedback (YOU/YOUR MOM) building up like kindling was super helpful and really contextualized everyone else's feedback. I'd love to write a ringing endorsement of your feedback if you have a website or something where you sell your editing services!
…right here Lily!!…endorse away ;)…your writing is awesome!!!…
This is tremendous Lily. I've read it multiple times now, and each time, it's riveting. I can't wait to see what's next!
Chris, thanks for being on this journey with me. You introduced a term to me, "debridement" - which I kept going back to as I was revising. That's the 1 word summary as far as I'm concerned!
Terrific writing! Your story hits a nerve.
I'd like to share a quote from mum "There are no bad daughters, only bad mothers."
You don't have any responsibility for your mum, especially not for her finances.
Thank you Anna for reading! And for the quote. I cognitively agree with you. Emotionally it's much harder; I cut a lot of the Chinese-American components of this essay which would have explained the cultural filial piety background to why I feel responsible for her money.
> This essay had the most polarized feedback of the three I wrote in WOP. I tried to reconcile them with the narrative structure I felt was most true to me.
Processing the opponents ftw
Nice subheading style
You always come up with the best descriptors - "processing the opponents" is now in my dictionary.
Subheading was originally to group sections together in a summary-like way (I think a Michael Dean technique), but ended up leaving it!
It's an inversion from John Vervaeke's opponent processing. Apologies for the rabbit hole https://www.meaningcrisis.co/ep-34-awakening-from-the-meaning-crisis-sacredness-horror-music-and-the-symbol/ I searched his Awakening from the Meaning crisis series and that episode came up. He uses it a lot in his YouTube videos
You're probably the 5th or so person to recommend the meaning crisis series to me so I feel like I absolutely need to watch this now!
jumping in to +100 you gotta watch it....truly one of the coolest fresh and surprising frames on life I've ever encountered. In small and not so small ways, that lecture series has inspired everything I'm working on now.
This is now top of my list. When I walk on my treadmill the next week I'll be putting this series on.
yup. lots of good Vervaeke content since AFTMC, both his own work, dialogues w others, and interviews of him. this freshest one is likely to be good, given TB's style https://youtu.be/uXKihth7wo4?si=AaGJM-42ubgu5tSG
Wow Lily. So emotionally raw that I had to finish the essay to be able to take my next breath. As the children of divorced immigrant parents, many parts ring eerily similar.
Thank you Gordon! Yeah many parts will definitely resonate with East Asian immigrants especially...great to meet you post-WOP and I look forward to reading your writing. Glad that you have a Substack!
Wow, this article had me completely captivated. Thank you for writing it, Lily, and opening my eyes to a completely different perspective and world.
Thank you for reading it and entering my corner of the world for the short while! Really glad that I am still meeting more people in WOP after it has ended. :) Stay in touch!
I'm a bit speechless, but I think your writing is going to explode. This is gold.
It's a fucked up story from a fucked up person :X what can I say...I hope I'll write gold that doesn't start from a pile of shit someday
Hey Lily, that's no way to talk about yourself! I get where you're coming from, I have felt similar feelings in the past, but these feelings don't reflect reality. Please try to welcome the compliments ❤️
On one hand I get where you are coming from (inner critic voice to be managed), on the other hand this is me expressing responsibility/culpability in a neutral way. I don't think it's bad to be a fucked up person, it's a pretty natural place to be given the circumstances. And I do accept the gold compliment! It's a very nice one. I do hope I get to write more from places that aren't so dark and sad.